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Not again.
These are my ideas.
My dreams
and all I can do is watch them crumble
and fall through my fingers.

Every thought cascades downward
somehow shrieking
as it explodes catastrophically

Why is everything shaking?

Dark clouds gather
Rumbling louder
and louder.

Don't listen.
Don't listen.

Every raindrop stings in its own violent way.
It becomes a torrential downpour.

The storm in my mind leaks out my eyes.
All I can hear are the bombs dropping

the screaming
the screaming

Make it stop. Make it stop.

Why am I chocking?

I curl into a ball
I am paralyzed,
convinced that the horrific screams
will never leave.

But slowly...

The screaming slows
The rumbles lessen

And through my tears
I see a beautiful ray of sunlight illuminating
the mess
that used to my sanity

I see what has become of my imagination

This was my save-haven
This was my castle


Now I sit in a pile of soggy rubble
Every beautiful thing
torn and muddled
All the color slowly muddied into brown
like a rain-soaked coloring book.

I'm not strong enough to rebuild
Not anymore.
Not when I know
the storm will return
and drain my world of color.

Make it stop.

Please, make it stop.
I wrote this to describe anxiety. The pain that can stem from our thoughts is very real and very painful. Please be respectful.
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CurtainRodFace Featured By Owner Apr 10, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I get panic attacks, and this is really how I feel sometimes.
Feffafee Featured By Owner Apr 10, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
Its difficult. Its very difficult sometimes. But sometimes just getting it out helps. Sending love you way <3
CurtainRodFace Featured By Owner Apr 10, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you so much. :)
KurenaiSensei7912 Featured By Owner Apr 10, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
I read this a few times and it made me cry each time. You really capture the pain of it all crashing down, and the fear of it happening again. The imagery is very powerful, specially as it builds towards the end.
Feffafee Featured By Owner Apr 10, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
Thank you for your words of encouragement. I wanted to write it all out, everything I felt. Some of the worst pain we experience comes from our thoughts. The worst part about anxiety is not being able to run away from them. You can't flee from what is inside of your head. But we can always rebuild. Always. Though its never quite the same.

God bless. :hug:
KurenaiSensei7912 Featured By Owner Apr 12, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
Never quite the same, but that can be a good thing. Sometimes the sunshine lights up a new path, as well as the wreckage of the old one. Those are good days :)
Feffafee Featured By Owner Apr 13, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
Beautifully put. :)
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April 9, 2013
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